5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life When You’re Single

If you Google “how to spice up your sex life,” it’s honestly kind of tragic. Everything is centred around relationships. Like, excuse me? Just because single people may have casual sex or multiple partners doesn’t mean our sex lives don’t need work. Sure, new people can be exciting, but even then, sex can get boring or mundane. Most of us are taught the same sexual scripts, so the first time we have sex with someone new often looks the same.

Spicing up your sex life is all about stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things. You may have heard me say this before: try everything twice. The first time might feel weird, confusing, or just too much stimulation at once. But unless the experience genuinely turns you off, give it another shot. That second time might be completely different, and suddenly you get it.

Educate Yourself About Sex

The more you know about sex, the more you can incorporate new things into your sexual experiences. Learning about anatomy, pleasure, consent, and kink can help you unlearn myths that may have been harming your sex life. Talking to a sexologist can be game-changing—they can help you explore your sexual history, find areas for extra education, and give you tools that amplify pleasure.

Workshops and online masterclasses are another great way to learn. There are classes on orgasm, kink, exploring your body, and more. If you’re interested in kinks, workshops are a safe way to learn, meet like-minded people, and potentially find partners who share your interests.

Bring in Sex Toys

For some of you, this might seem obvious, but seriously—bring in sex toys. Solo or partnered, they can completely change the experience. There are so many options: vibrators, dildos, nipple clamps, whips, sensation oils, flavoured lubes, condoms, masturbation sleeves, and more. The possibilities are endless.

Try a Different Context to spice up your sex life

Changing the context of sex can make it feel completely new. Try a different room, a hotel, or even a slightly daring location (I obviously do not condone anything illegal). Use all your senses:

• Sight: role play, dressing up, lighting

• Smell: candles, oils, scents

• Sound: music, moans, whispering

• Taste: flavoured lubes or food

Timing matters too—sex at different times of day or in different moods changes the way you experience it. Add suspense: sext during the day, tease, and play with anticipation.

Make a Yes, No, Maybe List

A sexual bucket list is perfect when you’re single. Explore what you like, what you don’t, and what you might want to try. You don’t need to worry about a partner being into it—you can find someone who is. Break it down into giving and receiving: what you want done to yourself, and what you want to do to others. Examples might include anal play, filming a sex tape, hot wax play, cuckolding, or group sex. I’ve even made a downloadable yes, no, maybe list to help you explore and find what excites you.

Go to a Sex Party

This might seem extreme, but sex parties aren’t just for couples. Singles can absolutely attend and explore safely. They offer a space to witness other people having sex, try multiple partners in one night, explore threesomes, foursomes, and more. Parties are often themed, with different playrooms for different activities. You can go solo, with friends, with someone you’re seeing, or even someone you met on a dating app. It’s a safe, exciting way to try new things, see what turns you on, and meet like-minded people.